Welcome to 'Poles & Crocs': Brotherhood Beyond Boundaries
Rediscovering Brotherhood
What does brotherhood mean to you?
Growing up with my three older brothers taught me the essence of brotherhood.
I only really grasped its depth when I shouldered my brother’s coffin.
Brotherhood transcends families and blood; it's forged through shared values and mutual support. Among the bonds I've formed outside my biological family, one stands out profoundly. My brother in arms, Lee.
One thing is for sure having lost a both a biological brother and a brother in arms: brotherhood is never guaranteed.
Band of Brothers
We share a brotherhood with men everywhere.
More and more, men are opting to face mental health struggles alone, with dire results. Brotherhood has become more important than ever.
This leads me to my relationship with Lee. Our bond surpassed friendship—we formed it through shared challenges and mutual support.
This was a post from 4years back about the challenge of parenthood and how we appreciated each other for all the tough times.
Underneath my words, are Lee’s own words…
Buddy Buddy. Never underestimate the power of brotherly love
Been through some shite with this wise and gentle soul @manosvenus in the past and I hope we'll always be there for each other. No better brother to seek out in a crisis
We once spent 3 months together protecting a tanker full of Ukrainians against the threat of piracy off Somalia. It wasn't Pirates of the Caribbean, cutting around in our spandex breeches, pissed up on grog, swashbuckling the hell out of the bad guys.
It was dysentery, extreme weight loss, and unbelievably shit situations you couldn't make up. 3 months of looking out for each other where no fucker has your back and life is cheap. A true test of lifelong friendship. "ol: Where's Wally?! Our nighttime port security detail. The only thing keeping us safe in our beds at night. Full on getting their heads down. Can't beat 'em join 'em
#brotherlylove #buddy #daddydaycare #instalove
Buddy Buddy
‘Buddy Buddy’ is a profound lesson we learnt in the marines together. It means you look after your buddy, and he looks after you. Before you take a sip of water at the end of a 30 mile yomp, you make sure your buddy has water in his water bottle.
Looking back, brotherly love was clearly vitaly important to Lee. In this short post alone, he uses the word brother, or the phrase brotherly love, 3 times…with one more ‘brother’ for good luck in the comments section.
Never Underestimate the Power of Brotherly Love
I hoped for many more adventures and felt like we’d always be there for each other too, but the Great Mystery that is life, had other plans for us.
Lee took his own life in April this year.
Lee's unexpected suicide shattered me. I won’t go into it here but it certainly reinforced the importance of brotherhood and mental health support for the guys and family left behind.
After Lee's tragic passing, I found solace and strength in another brotherhood: Poles & Crocs.
Who are Poles & Crocs?
We’re a proud team of eclectic misfits: military personnel, fighters, and ultra-runners. We have professional fighters who get paid to fight and amateurs who enjoy being punched for free. We’ve even got a recent points karate world title under our belt, thanks to Connor.
Like the A-Team we’re not usually welcome in polite society, but if you have a problem and no one else can help, this is the team to pull you out of a hole.
Hello Darkness My Old Friend
As men, we can find ourselves in deep dark holes at various stages of our lives.
Whether it’s depression, suicidal thoughts, or not feeling good enough, men have a tendency to withdraw into themselves. Being isolated with your own thoughts when you’re feeling low is a recipe for disaster.
Brotherhood and a Sister too
Being part of a group that you trust can make the difference when those low points come. Yes, we take our name from walking poles and relaxed footwear—not the ferocious dragon animal native to Florida.
Our Mission and Mental Health Awareness
As a group, we take pleasure in pushing each other to our limits. We enjoy taking the piss out of each other even more. The rule is, you can say whatever you want, as long as you’re prepared to show up for one another.
Before Poles & Crocs, there was The Stone Carriers—a group of guys and an 80kg lump of sandstone we’d carry to represent our mental load was better shared.
The Stone Carriers carried a serious message but were a relaxed and informal bunch. In comparison, Poles & Crocs has a much more jovial approach but paradoxically is pushing into more serious terrain.
Helping Each Other Grow Through Challenges
Lee’s loss underscored our mission at Poles & Crocs: to support each other through life's darkest moments.
The opposite of stagnation and getting bogged down in your own negative thinking is growth.
We have guys at every stage of fitness. From Benji who’s taken on a double Bob Graham challenge for June next year - a feat only 4 people in the world have achieved. To Dave who's coming back from Long Covid and has set himself the challenge of 5000 steps per day.
It doesn’t matter where you’re at. Slow growth is still growth.
Conclusion
This is more than a story about a group of friends.
It’s about the importance of brotherhood, mental health awareness, and the power of showing up for each other when it matters most.
In times of darkness, it’s our connections—our brotherhood—that light the way.
Thanks for reading, we’d be delighted to call you Brother!
Team Poles and Crocs
Resources
We are not a professional health organisation. We’re a group of mates who care deeply for each other and inspire each other to see the best in life and themselves. We encourage all our members to find professional help for their mental health.
If you’re having a difficult time or struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to contact the Samaritans
Call 116 123 any time day or night
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What a vital support your group provide - thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and honest post. As the mother of a young adult male, I worry about the support available for men and have seen first hand how men in particular retreat into often dangerous darkness, unable to share their pain and worries. It’s just not good enough.