Recovery, Resilience, and Brotherhood
Do you have the Odyssean Spirit?
The Poles & Crocs Odyssean Spirit Award is a special honour, that celebrates individuals who embody perseverance, courage, and resilience in their pursuit of meaningful goals, especially when faced with significant challenges.
This award draws inspiration from Odysseus's mythic journey, during which he never wavered during his 10-year voyage to return home to his family after the Trojan War. It celebrates the indomitable spirit of consistently “showing up” in life with determination and authenticity, no matter how arduous the path.
Core Values Celebrated by the Award:
Perseverance: Staying committed to a goal despite setbacks.
Courage: Facing fears, uncertainties, or adversity with bravery.
Resilience: Enduring hardships and continuing to move forward.
Authenticity: Bringing your true self to the journey, flaws and all.
Loyalty: Staying true to people, ideals, or causes, even when tested.
Introducing Poles & Crocs Team Member; Graham Smith
This year, the Poles & Crocs Odyssean Spirit is awarded to Brother Graham.
His journey shows exactly what this award is all about—perseverance, courage, and staying true to himself through some seriously tough times. Graham’s determination and the way he’s tackled challenges head-on inspire us all. With what he’s been through, there’s no one more deserving of this recognition.
Introducing Graham's Guest Post:
In the spirit of the Odyssean journey, Graham has graciously shared a guest post with us, reflecting on his personal experiences and the lessons he's gathered along the way. His story is a testament to the values we cherish and celebrate through this award—a narrative filled with determination, authenticity, and resilience.
We invite you to read and be inspired by Graham’s words as he takes us through his remarkable journey.
Graham's Guest Post:
Recovering from Recovery
Recovery means different things to different people, at different times. But in many instances, all the different types of recovery start to overlap. More importantly, each one directly links to and impacts mental health.
When it comes to humans, for me there are three main types of recovery:
Recovering from illness or injury
Recovering from excess effort or exertion
Recovering from addiction or related issues
Over the past few years, and specifically in the last 12 months I’ve ‘enjoyed’ learning more about all three. To say the road to recovery is a testing and bumpy one would be an understatement. Hopefully what you are about to read either resonates with someone who has walked that road and makes them feel better about how challenging it was or helps prepare someone about to head down it.
Rewind 3 years and I was in tip-top shape, weighing in at 88kg and everything running smoothly. Training was good, work-life balance was in check, and goals were being set and hit. I still remember the morning I woke up with what felt like mild hip flexor pain. Nothing too serious and would be gone in a few days. I was a little wide of the mark with that assessment, unfortunately. What followed was a continuous and steady decline in mobility and capability.
Eventually, this turned into having more days of pain than the ones without. What I didn’t acknowledge was the direct correlation it was having on my mental health and focus. I also neglected to seek proper medical diagnosis and support in the hope that it would just go away.
However, what was happening was a dangerous and scary loop was being crafted in my subconscious brain. Instead of taking advantage when the pain-free days presented themselves, I was allowing a victim mentality to take over.
‘What’s the point in getting after it today when you are going to be struggling to walk again in a day or two?’
‘If you aren’t getting after it, why bother being consistent with your nutrition? You might as well have something in your life you enjoy’.
And so started a downward spiral that consisted of no training, excessive eating and picking up the bottle on more than a regular occasion. At least I was only failing at two out of three types of recovery but only because I was finding any excuse not to exert myself excessively or put in any effort.
Fast forward to December 2023. The 28th of December to be exact, I remember the day well. I’d spent some days physically unable to walk, get out of bed without help or even get dressed on my own. I stood on the scales (with some help!) at 125kg and a complete mess. I decided my initial diagnosis may not be right and headed to the docs.
Exactly 7 days later, I had two separate diagnoses. Severe arthritis in both hips caused by Crohn’s disease and testicular cancer.
Having already made the decision enough was enough and choosing a future of sobriety and back to training in whatever format I could, luckily I was in a better place to deal with the news. It also coincided with being invited to join a group called Poles and Crocs which I had been on the periphery of for a while having supported some of their outrageous physical activities.
Without the changed mindset and suddenly being surrounded by a group of the kindest, caring and supporting savages I’ve ever met - I dread to think what might have happened following the appointment on the 4th Jan.
So I set about recovery roads 1 and 3 with a support network around me and renewed focus. Cancer removal surgery in February went smoothly. However, the mental challenges around recovery started to surface again. Being better equipped to spot them and voice them was key to being able to prevent a complete takeover this time but there were serious dips in my newfound focus and direction.
It became apparent that the hips weren’t going to be sorted until the end of 2024 in the shape of a double hip replacement. This was tough to take. On the surface and to the outside world, I carried on portraying an image of someone who wasn’t going to be knocked off track. But internally the struggle was getting bigger by the day. Those demons were creeping back in. Why? Because I wasn’t recovering from recovery in the right way. Too much was being hidden from view, and I wasn’t using the support network as I should - instead allowing my ego to coerce me into thinking they would be much more impressed if I just cracked on rather than moaning about my internal challenges. This came to a head in June as things came to a head and the stored-up emotion poured out in pretty ugly ways.
The rest of the year was better but still with its ups and downs. Some solid achievements nipped - not least swimming the length of Windermere nonstop. However, all I could think about was a time when I was pain-free again being on the horizon. This also brought some nervousness and trepidation- what if it didn’t work? What if I couldn’t do all the things I used to be able to do?
I’m sitting here writing this four days after the second hip replacement, weighing in at just over 100kg. The first replacement back in October 2024 went well and the signs are this one is heading for the same outcome. I have a rehab programme and some loose goals but finally feel in a place where achieving those goals to give my ego a stroke is less important than mastering recovery. The main thing I’m looking forward to is only having to deal with recovery type two on my list above sometime in the relatively near future.
So what are the lessons and learning from this?
Any of the three types of recovery is tough.
Recovering from illness or injury
Recovering from excess effort or exertion
Recovering from addiction or related issues
More importantly, they have the hidden element of their direct correlation to your mental health. Anyone entering any of the three types of recovery needs to do so with their eyes open and fully prepared for what recovery is and the multiple ways it’s going to affect you. For some people, this might be as simple as struggling to take a rest day because they simply have to train every single day. When they are forced to rest, their mental health might be under attack even if just for 24 hours. Be aware, acknowledge and plan how to deal with that. If you do - you’ll hopefully never need to do what I’ve had to do which is recover from recovery itself.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a brotherhood like I am in the Poles and Crocs team. They are unrivalled in supporting each other through the good and the bad times. But you will have someone or some people close who can help. Use them before it gets too late for them to help.
‘Enjoy’ your recovery.
Graham
Outro:
Here at Poles & Crocs, we acknowledge that it's not only about the mountain highs, but also about traversing the valleys, getting snagged in the branches, being pulled at by the brambles, and falling into the bogs. We celebrate all the sunrises, sunsets, mountain views, and beautiful moments, but also the struggle.
Thank you for being part of our supportive community.
Warm regards,
David Venus
Editor and Welfare Officer, Poles & Crocs
I wrote a couple of pieces unpicking recovery last year that might interest you, Graham, as a complementary approach from a different perspective- one where 'normal' or previous states aren't achieved. I wrote instead of coming back to myself.
'Recovery isn't linear,' they say.
It bumps up quite nicely to the parts of this article on the mental aspects of your recovery.
Here's part two, in case you'd like to have a look: https://loushackleton.substack.com/p/unpacking-and-unpicking-recovery-072
It links to part one in the first line, if you want to read them in order.
This is an excellent post ❤️ fair play for laying out all out there for others with the aim of hopefully helping someone. There are bit of this definitely resonate with me, and it's good to know we're not alone 👌